Of Angry Texts And Catfights
by Elguardiuz
Summary: AU [Hints of Shikatema] [One-shot] In which two blondes are head to head on a track race "READY TO BE BEATEN YOU TWO-LEGGED COW?"


Hi.

And yeah I'm baaaaaccckkk! Okay, so remember that time when I said that **Of DVDs and Texts **is a one-shot? No? Well it is. This is merely a sequel, as you can see. And I don't know if it's as good as the original one cause you know, sequels tend to suck big mammoth balls. But let's just see how it goes, yeah?

AND HOW CAN ANYONE NOT LIKING SHIKATEMA!? I MEAN IT'S PRACTICALLY CANON IN THE MANGA!

Ps: You don't have to read **Of DVDs and Texts **to understand this piece, cause this is somewhat different, but the same at the same time, you get me?

Oh and special thanks to:

- **Bunnies-Take-Over-The Universe**

**- ObjectedPrincess**

**- Shiku Noberu**

**- animelover4everandever**

**- atomicblood**

**- hush-sleep**

**- Kyogile**

**- Punky18**

**- MrGoodyTwoShoes **

And a special message for **MrGoodyTwoShoes**:

"Well, I know probably you're not reading this but, thank you for the warning, but no, I am not taking the story down. I appreciate the fact that you actually took time to warn me but no, I'm not taking it down. But seriously, thank you."

Beware of the cuss ahead of you. You have been warned.

*cue dramatic lightning sound effect* *cue evil laugh*

Okay, now that all of the formalities are settled, ON WITH DA STORREEEHHH!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. That is all. Dattebayo!

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**Of Angry Texts and Catfights**

By: Elguardiuz

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August 2nd

8: 15 PM

**From: **Ino Yamanaka

**To: **Shikamaru Nara

Shikamaru,

CONTROL YOUR ANAL-GIVING WHORE OF A GIRLFRIEND!

I MEAN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER!? ALL I DID WAS COMMENTING ABOUT HER OBVIOUSLY **OVERLAPPING** WEIGHT!

Hugs,

Ino.

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August 2nd

8: 15 PM

**From: **Shikamaru Nara

**To: **Ino Yamanaka

Pig,

WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN ANAL-GIVING WHORE YOU ANOREXIC SLUT!?

WHAT!? AFRAID I'LL **CRUSH** THAT STICK-LIKE FEET OF YOURS!?

- Temari

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August 2nd

8: 16 PM

**From: **Ino Yamanaka

**To: **Shikamaru Nara

I BELIEVE I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, YOU DEMONIC WHALE!

OH IS THAT A CHALLENGE I HEAR!? BRING IT ON!

I BET WITH THAT WIGGLY **FAT** ALL OVER YOUR BODY YOU WONT EVEN ABLE TO MOVE AN INCH!

TOMORROW, TRACK FIELD, 11 AM!

- Ino

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August 2nd

8: 16 PM

**From: **Shikamaru Nara

**To: **Ino Yamanaka

OOHHH YOU ARE SO ON! AND TO MAKE IT EVEN MORE INTERESTING, THE LOSER HAS TO RUN AROUND THE SCHOOL NAKED, BODY UNWAXED WHILE SCREAMING I LOVE YOU TO GAI-SENSEI!

- Temari

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August 2nd

8: 17 PM

**From: **Ino Yamanaka

**To: **Shikamaru Nara

YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL!

PREPARE TO LOSE BETCH!

- Ino

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August 2nd

8: 17 PM

**From: **Temari Sabaku

**To: **Shikamaru Nara

Woman,

Use your own phone dammit, especially when you're sending angry texts.

If my mom finds out I text people that way, she's gonna ground me for the rest of eternity.

- Shikamaru

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August 2nd

8: 18 PM

**From: **Shikamaru Nara

**To: **Temari Sabaku

Lazy ass,

You do know that I'm sitting right next to you, right? **RIGHT!?**

I MEAN IS IT REALLY HARD TO JUST MOVE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH AND TALK TO ME!?

And it's not like you ever text anyone anyway, and hey, you have unlimited texting and I don't. See why network providers are filthy rich?

- Temari

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August 2nd

8: 18 PM

**From: **Temari Sabaku

**To: **Shikamaru Nara

Temari,

Nahh, seeing your current temper right now, I'm just going to settle with texting. But can we at least switch phone?

- Shikamaru

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August 2nd

8: 19 PM

**From: **Shikamaru Nara

**To: **Temari Sabaku

Crybaby,

What? You're not gonna comfort me with the 'you look pretty when you're angry'?

And no, this phone's awesome.

- Temari

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August 2nd

8: 20 PM

**From: **Temari Sabaku

**To: **Shikamaru Nara

Temari,

No, telling lies to my girlfriend is just wrong now isn't it?

- Shikamaru

Ps. Crybaby? Seriously? I was twelve back then! You will cry to if you break your finger when you were twelve.

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August 2nd

8: 20 PM

**From: **Shikamaru Nara

**To: **Temari Sabaku

Pineapple head,

I'm one lucky girl for having such a loving and caring boyfriend by my side. What would I do without him?

- Temari

Ps. Well I'm not a boy now aren't I, crybaby?

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August 2nd

8: 25 PM

**From: **Shikamaru Nara

**To: **Temari Sabaku

Pineapple headed lazy crybaby,

OI DON'T FALL ASLEEP ON ME!

- Temari

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August 2nd

8: 25 PM

**From: **Shikamaru Nara

**To: **Temari Sabaku

See now I'm sleepy, this is all your entire fault.

- Temari

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August 3rd

10: 03 AM

**From: **Ino Yamanaka

**To: **Temari Sabaku

YOU READY TO BE BEATEN YOU TWO-LEGGED COW!?

- Ino

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August 3rd

10: 03 AM

**From: **Temari Sabaku

**To: **Ino Yamanaka

Ino,

This is Shikamaru, the two-legged cow you're speaking of is still holding my phone in captive.

- Shikamaru

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August 3rd

11: 54 AM

**From: **Temari Sabaku

**To: **Ino Yamanaka

HA! SERVES YOU RIGHT YOU SNOT!

NO ONE BEATS TEMARI SABAKU AT TRACKS! **NO ONE!**

Well, look at the bright side; you can share your …youthfulness with Gai-Sensei.

I'm sure he will be very, very pleased.

Love,

Temari

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August 3rd

11: 54 AM

**From: **Ino Yamanaka

**To:** Temari Sabaku

**WHAT THE HELL!?**

What do you mean I lost, you senile being!?

It's obvious to even a blind man with man with no armpits that **I WON!**

**ME! **

Go get that lips ready for Gai-sensei.

Kisses,

Ino

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August 3rd

11: 55 AM

**From: **Temari Sabaku

**To:** Ino Yamanaka

FINE THEN, WE'LL JUST SEE THE PHOTO CRYBABY TOOK IN THE FINISH LINE WHERE **I **DEFINITELY CROSSED THE FINISH LINE FIRST!

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August 3rd

11: 56 AM

**From: **Ino Yamanaka

**To:** Temari Sabaku

FINE! AND FOR THE RECORD **I** FINISHED FIRST!

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August 3rd

11: 56 AM

**From: **Temari Sabaku

**To:** Shikamaru Nara

Oi, crybaby, send me the finishing photo!

- Temari

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August 3rd

11: 57 AM

**From: **Shikamaru Nara

**To: **Temari Sabaku

…What photo?

- Shikamaru

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August 3rd

11: 57 AM

**From: **Temari Sabaku

**To:** Shikamaru Nara

THE FINISHING PHOTO, THE ONES WHERE INO AND I REACHED THE FINISH LINE!

Wait; don't tell me you didn't take it.

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August 3rd

11: 58 AM

**From: **Shikamaru Nara

**To:** Temari Sabaku

Well, you see, I took the picture, but it turns out that the lens-cover is still on, so yeah.

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August 3rd

11: 58 AM

**From: **Temari Sabaku

**To:** Shikamaru Nara

Shikamaru?

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August 3rd

11: 58 AM

**From: **Shikamaru Nara

**To: **Temari Sabaku

Yeah?

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August 3rd

11: 58 AM

**From: **Temari Sabaku

**To:** Shikamaru Nara

The urge to kill you is real.

I suggest you to start running.

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I know I know, Temari's a little bit OOC.

And I dunno, for me personally I think the ending sucks.

But, what do** you** think? *lowers glasses*

TELL ME THROUGH THAT REVIEW BUTTON BELOW!

Later.


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